Spencer Schultze

Ms. Meeuwenberg

Adv. Comp

16 May 2007

Before Sliced Bread           

 Everywhere you look these days, it seems as if somebody is carrying around an iPod.  A walk around a school at break time or a trip through the airport will make it apparent that iPods are very popular, to say the least.  What makes an iPod so special, you may ask?  Well, iPods combine cool features with sleek styling and practicality.  With an iPod, it is possible for one to watch movies whenever he/she pleases, or to look at pictures, or, most importantly, to listen to his/her favorite music.  IPods offer all of these features and more, all in a cool handheld package.             

It would not be uncommon for somebody to refer to iPods as “the best thing since sliced bread.”  This saying has been around for years, and has been used in reference to thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of great new products.  Yet somehow sliced bread has remained the center point of this classic saying.  Apparently there is simply something revolutionary about this popular style of bread.  However, sliced bread has only been around since about 1928 (Wikipedia), leaving one to wonder what the best thing was before sliced bread.             

This question intrigued me, and I set out to discover the answer to such a perplexing question. At the start, I had no idea as to what possibly was the best thing before sliced bread.  There were so many possibilities, yet so many of them seemed unreasonable.  I searched online and came up with nothing.  I began to doubt that anybody even knew the answer, or if there even was an answer at all.  Being a person who isn’t quick to give up, I decided I would ask some of the people I knew if they had any ideas as to what the best thing was before sliced bread.           

I first went to my brother, who certainly knew how to act like he might know the answer.  He had an answer for me right off the bat: cheese.  He explained that cheese is a very dynamic food, available in many flavors and styles.  He even went so far as to make the claim that cheese is what makes the world go ‘round.  At this point I began to realize that my brother’s answer was completely an opinion, with no real substance to it, other than an argument for why cheese is so great.            

Disappointed, I decided to ask my question to a friend I who know to be quite sensible and smart.  Alissa offered the answer that unsliced bread was the best thing before sliced bread.  Her main reasoning was that bread, in whatever state, is nutritionally sound, and a good source of carbohydrates.  I think Alissa was on to something.  After all, it makes sense that the best thing before sliced bread would remain in the category of bread.  This would explain how the improvement to pre-sliced bread naturally found its way to the center of the famous phrase.            

 I was on to something, but wasn’t yet satisfied.  I decided to go to perhaps the wisest man I know: my father.  My dad didn’t smirk at my question, nor did he have to think much before he came up with an answer.  The answer my dad gave me was certainly logical, and it fell, for the most part, in line with Alissa’s answer.  He told me that buns were the best thing before sliced bread, based on the fact that they are small enough that they don’t need to be sliced.  He then reasoned that sliced bread replaced buns in the phrase because sliced bread allows for sandwiches to be made with ease.  After listening to my dad, I had a sense that I was close to the answer, but not quite there just yet.           

At this point there was only one person left who I thought might know the answer to my query, which had earlier seemed unanswerable.  A man by the name of Larry Borst was the one remaining source of wisdom.  Right from the get-go I sensed Mr. Borst’s confidence in the subject, and he calmly gave me a brief history on the “best thing since…” phrase.  I learned that indeed, the phrase has always remained in the bakery genre.  Before sliced bread, the phrase was “the best thing since frosting,” which Mr. Borst stated was introduced to the cupcake in 1718 by a man by the name of Blaise Pascal.  Before frosting, the phrase received its start amidst the ancient Hebrews.  It came from a Hebrew joke and tradition of saying that great innovations were “the best thing since yeast.”  Such a phrase allowed for the ancient Hebrews to simultaneously have fun with the Passover, all the while ensuring that they would remember it.           

I had found the answer to my question!  Without a doubt, the phrase “the best thing since sliced bread” hails from the original phrase “the best thing since yeast.”  The religious roots of the phrase explain its current widespread popularity, and the fact that it started with yeast explains why the baked good sliced bread now holds the position as the center point of the phrase.             

In my quest for answers to such a riveting question, I was thankfully able to discover the real answer, and in the process of doing so was able to learn a valuable lesson.  Sometimes information is far from common knowledge and can be hard, if not impossible, to find by normal researching means.  At such times, I learned that surrounding friends and family can be the best resource available.                                    

This article isn’t exactly an easy one to summarize, but I’ll give it a shot.  The author of this piece, Andy Blowers, has struggled with depression for years.    He has constantly had his ups and downs emotionally, and he continues to do so.  He is to the point where he can feel it when depression is about to set in, by his dreams and thoughts.  He says that he believes in the loss of weakness after going through pain.

I’ve got to say, I feel sorry for this man in a way.  Not so much because of his depression, but more because of his lack of anything wonderful to hope in.  This man made absolutely no mention of Christ in his essay, and going by the nature of the essay, he doesn’t have Christ in his life.   I realize that depression is a powerful thing, but I Christ is infinitely more powerful.  This guy lives in the depths of depression much of his life and even when he comes out of it, he thinks nothing more than that he himself has become stronger, and more who he’s supposed to be.  I can only imagine what a revelation and lifechanging experience it would be for him to know Christ.

This author used a lot of different writing techniques to put together a well written piece.  He used metaphors, speaking of pain as a coccoon.  He used examples from the matrix to help tell his own story.  At one point he referred to himself being “pinned to the mat” in life.  Such techniques helped keep me interested in the article as I read, and coupled with a good vocabulary made for a really well written piece.

Turn on the TV today, and chances that during a commercial break you’ll see a car ad or two. And where there are car ads, there are stats. The stats tell of crash safety as well as fuel economy, and a few other things. Apparently, the tests to decide such things are going to be revised to provide stats that are more realistic and that apply more to every day driving. So fuel economy will take into account “increased driving speeds, heavier traffic, and the use of air conditioners.” The tests for crash safety will concern matters such as low speed crashes, and also will go more in depth on damage done in crashes.

I’m glad that the tests for cars will be changed, because like the author said, they will allow the buyer to make a more informed decision when purchasing a car. They will keep cars safe and make it necessary for cars to be manufactured to safely handle real world situations. Now we won’t have to deal with a car getting less gas mileage than advertised because it isn’t driven like a snail.

The authors tone in this piece was one which regarded the auto industy in a rather harsh manner. The author speaks of the fact that carmakers “rely on gimmicky quick fixes to ace NHTSA crash tests.” Such words seem to be taking a cheap shot at the carmakers. The author also says later “That’s hardly surprising” in regards to the fact that crash tests may not be super accurate. The stance taken on safety sure was serious, which is good, but something about it sort of made me uncomfortable I guess.  Talking about “dire consequences” was an example of this.  Overall, the tone works, but not perfectly.

Hurricane Rita occured about a year and a half ago, but the body of a man who died sometime around then was just found recently.  The article said that the man was found after a potential buyer of his home found him on his bed, fully clothed.  It was decided that he certainly didn’t die from foul play, and they have not been able to say what exactly he died from.  It could’ve been a heart attack or fright that killed him.  Neighbors and family had assumed the man had left before the hurricane hit, and had just not come back.  The man lived alone, and apparently might have had mental problems or some sort.

I think its crazy that in today’s society a dead body went unnoticed for 18 months.  Considering the circumstances I most certainly believe it, but I find it strange that nobody noticed earlier.  This is just one of those stories where so much will never be known, like how he died, why he stayed and what happened before he died.

I thought this article was very in depth.  The author gave nicknames of the deceased man, such as “Big Tank” and also gave a slight background on who the man was, detailing his family and personality.  By writing this way, I think the author made it possible for readers to connect to the story.  I thought that for a nes article this was a very descriptive piece.  For example, the author described the inside of the man’s house as such, “Aside from a thick layer of dust, the interior of the house appeared undisturbed for months. The living room was neatly arranged, and china plates and wine glasses were set on a dining room table.”  Usually news articles are short and to the point, but this article was very detailed, which kept my attention for the entire article.  I thought that overall it was a very informative and well written article.

This article brings to light the issue of homosexuals in the military. The author points out that those serving in our armed forces face terribly harsh conditions, during which they turn to each other for strength and are willing to risk their lives for each other.  In his opinion this comradeship would be lost and or disturbed if homosexuals were allowed to serve in the military.  Liberals are pushing to allow homosexuals in the armed forces, and the author said that our country must not disrupt our military simply to please the Liberals. 

I must say that I agree with the author on this issue.  Yes, I do believe homosexuality is immoral, but in this case, that is beside the point.  The main point of the article was that homosexuals in our armed forces would disrupt its operation, and I most certainly think it would hard to deny such a fact.  I know that discrimination is a major issue, but honestly it seems to me that Liberals simply would like homosexuals to have the right to be in the army.  Honestly, how many would actually decide to go in the armed forces anyway?  Aside from a select few, I’m guessing hardly anybody.  We then would be left with disturbances in our armed forces, with little more to gain from it than the right simply to be there.  I fully agree that the ban on homosexuals in the armed forces should be kept in place.

I think that in an editorial piece such as this, the author often needs to present his point in a way that those on both sides of the issue will listen.  That is, one can’t be too offensive to the opposing side or anything.  I think that the author did a good job of this, in that he took no personal stabs at homosexuals or thier supporters.  He stuck to his main point that homosexuals should continue to be banned from the military.  The author brought up very solid points, including the fairness to the troops, as well as the wellbeing of our country.  He brought up the basically undeniable point that our army is the strongest in the world, and that we should disrupt the way it works.  Who could argue with that?  The article had quotes from the likes of Colon Powell, and was full of examples.  Bringing up the fact that it would be unjust to bring such an issue to the troops in Iraq seemed to be a technique that would help anybody empathize with them.  Overall, I think this was a very effective and well written editorial.    

In case you haven’t heard, NHL player Chris Simon took the rough part of hockey way too far a few nights ago.  After he was checked really hard into the boards, he got up and swung his stick, baseball bat style, at the neck of the one who hit him.  The action sparked an outrage of the NHL as well as fans and players.  The punishment for Simon is that he must miss the rest of the regular season, as well as the playoffs and possibly part of next season.  Simon is taking responsibility for his actions and has been apologetic, despite the very harsh punishments issued.

I think that the NHL was smart in putting down such a harsh punishment on Simon.  They’ve got to let players know that if you take things too far, you’re going to pay the price.  Though a harsh punishment, its not as though it has ruined Simon’s career, so I think its very fair.  If the NHL were to let this go, and let Simon get off lightly, they’d have no choice but to leave the door open for future incidents to happen as well.

The writing style of this article was rather informative, but it used tons of quotes by NHL players and the commissioner, in order to let the audience hear all sides of the story.  Information regarding past suspensions and punishments was given, as well as background information on Simon, leaving the reader both informed of this story and the past.  The combonation of quotes and background information and stats left me feeling very, very informed by the time I reached the end of this article.  Overall, I’d say it was very well written.  The author didn’t necessarily have a specific tone on the issue, which I think is appropriate seeing that his job is simply to inform, not persuade.

This article was one that intrigued me, seeing that most all of us in our class have been writing on news for the past weeks.  Basically, the main point was that our news today is often meaningless news, and that important issues are all too often ignored.  In the author’s opinion, the news companies care too much about ratings to give out the real, important news, so instead they “pass off bunk as news.”  The author says that 24 hour news is in part to blame for this, but also because the “non-news” type news is what sells.  The author, a journalist, has found that other journalists all agree that it is a problem.

I must say that I think it is a problem as well, though I’m not sure I see it as a major problem.  This author wasn’t talking about local news at all, but I think local news are a good model for the national news companies and channels.  Local news shows inform, and keep the “non-news”  stuff to a minimum.  I’m sure that if local news became 24 hour news, then it too would start filling out with “bunk.”  The author suggested that “bunk” news and real news be separated, whether on different channels or at different times.  I think this is a good solution, in that it keeps everybody happy.  Those who want funny news can watch the “bunk” channel or show, and those who want the real, important news can watch the real news.

I found this to be a really effective style of writing.  The author used sarcasm at times, such as when he was talking about what is permissable for news.  He jokingly brought up that about anything aside from pornography has been shown on the news, and that pornography probably isn’t that far behind.  At another point he said, “prime-time news shows consist almost entirely of celebrity interviews and pedophile arrests.” The article started off quite humorously with the author talking about how “cool” a tattooed fish would be to have as a pet, in regards to a news story from cnn. The author was very much bold in his stance, and used works such as “bunk” “bugus” “fark” and “dumb” to describe the “non-news.” Overall, I thought this was very well written, and very effective. He used different aspects of writing to put together a very convincing article. 

As many people know, the war in Iraq is one of the main issues in our country.  The author of this editorial seems to think that our country is in danger because we are focusing too heavily on the war while then ignoring equally important issues.  The main issue this author is concerned with is our relationship with China and our debt to them.  In short, he thinks that if we aren’t very, very careful, we will find ourself in a position where we are at the mercy of China.

I think that this article brings to light a good thing to keep in mind, but I also think that this author doesn’t realize how much our country does stay aware of problems and issues aside from the War.  Sure, the American public might not be aware of many issues aside from Iraq, but our government has more than enough people to keep track of other issues, like this one with China.  As for a solution to the problem, I don’t know enough about the situation to have an opinion on what we should do, but I think our leaders will be able to work it out.

I thought the writing style of this article was very very good, especially considering the nature of this piece.  The opening sentence really caught my attention, and there were questions strewn throughout the piece to keep the reader thinking.  The author made more than enough bold statements, and left the reader knowing his opinion on more than one occasion.  Overall, though long, I think this was a very effectively written piece.

There is a major push for alternative energy sources in many different areas, and this article highlights the new wind farm in Cuba.  This new wind farm contains six windmills which have the capability of generating 1,800 megawatts of electricity in a year, which according to the article could save Cuba $136,000 in oil costs.  These windmills have been built to allow for quick takedown in case of a big storm or hurricane, and construction of more windmills is already underway.  Cuba has had a history of not having enough energy, so this increase in energy production should prove to be of help.

I like that other countries are using alternative energy sources, and I think a country such as Cuba can really benefit from something like windmills.  I know that the US has its own windmills and alternative energy sources, but I’d like to see even more done in the area of alternative energy.  There is a lot of room for improvement in efficiency in all kinds of places, and I think that energy production is no exception.  Alternative energy not only saves money, it is helps for the future too.

The writing of this article was about as basic as possible, with short, to the point sentences and short paragraphs.  The substance of the article was enough to keep me reading, the writing fit well enough in this case.

This article, “What can schools do?” brings to light the issue of character of students in school.  It is brought up that all too much stress is placed simply on standardized test scores in schools, while the stress on students’ character has gone to pot.  The article argues that it is absolutely critical that schools get back to promoting character education.  It says that character might be talked about a lot, but in the end little is done about it.  The fact that character education is a multi-facet work is acknowledged and stressed in this article as well.

I must say, I couldn’t agree more with this article.  I think that our world, certainly our country, is all too full of people who are educated, yet without morals.  The article quoted Theodore Roosevelt, who said, “To educate a person in mind and not morals, is to educate a menace to society.”  I cannot stress how much I agree with Roosevelt’s quote.  There are people all over who are educated beyond their intelligence, or at least beyond their character.  There is nothing more frustrating than an educated person who is not smart and who doesn’t have good character.   I love that the authors realize that this character education takes the efforts of school administration, teachers and parents alike.  I agree that the issue of character education is more important than, and goes hand in hand with, normal classroom education.  I know our school is Christian, and should really stress good character in students, and I think it does a good job doing so.  I do think, however, that even our school could do a better job in stressing character.  Public schools have no excuse to not do the same.  If morals in our country are lost, which they will be if our students never learn them, than our country will surely be lost also.

This article may have been written better than any I’ve read yet, in that the vocabulary was strong and that there were plenty of examples, quotes and opinions on the issue.  I think that this article’s effectiveness and style are hard to beat.